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1.
Who Is This Website For?
This website -
www.spontaneousdevelopment.com
- is especially targeted at people who desire
to learn how they can take advantage of the
virtually limitless opportunities for self-determination,
accessible through diligent application of
proven self-development techniques in conjunction
with technology and The Internet.
Spontaneous
Development Dot Com is home to Self-Development
Academy Limited on the World Wide Web. We
offer New Ideas, Information, Articles, True
Stories, Strategies and Services for Career
Development, Performance Enhancement, Small
Business Best Practice, Spreadsheet Automation,
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Writing and more. Spontaneous Development
Dot Com is a dynamic online resource for ANY
individual, group or organisation passionately
driven to continually function at their best
in whatever they do.
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2.
What Can It Do For You?
This site's
primary objective is to offer useful, real-world relevant
information, and education, that shows people what
they can do by themselves for themselves to achieve
their set goals - with minimal trial and error. Articles,
books(print
and electronic), learning events(talks,
seminars, workshops) based on practical experience
are available. In addition, the Self-Development Academy's
Business
Support Services and Custom
Excel Software can help you increase your profits
by enabling you to do what you do at less cost, in
less time and using less resources/effort are showcased
on this site, for purchase at affordable rates. |
3.
Why The Focus On Information And Education?
"..the
biggest challenge facing most African nations is to
creatively adapt ideas to their unique environment."
- Mr. Patrick Boateng, Adviser for
Africa, US Federal Communications Commission (FCC)
at the African Internet Summit and Exhibition(AFRINET)
2002, held in Abuja, Nigeria.
In the October
20, 2000 edition of Newsweek magazine, Tim Berners-Lee,
inventor of the World Wide Web(NOT the Internet, which
was created 20 years before the web) in an interview
expressed his belief that the Internet presents a
"real chance" of integrating the Third World
with the rest of the world.
He narrated a story(told to
him by someone who had been a missionary in Africa)
about a woman who had taught herself English through
the Bible, and subsequently began earning a living
by translating documents received in English over
the net into the local dialect. As Tim put it, Internet
access can enable a person earn income in a way that
would not have been possible before, and can even
benefit an entire village. He added that there are
numerous jobs which are just "information-in,
information-out" that anyone anywhere in the
world can do if they are given access to the Internet.
(SDAc invites you to visit www.freelanceworkexchange.com
to see countless examples).
The SDAc, through
this website aims to demonstrate practically, specific
ways any individual or group can successfully utilise
self-development, in conjunction with technology and
the Internet, to empower themselves economically,
socially and politically. We will provide real-world
relevant information and education that will equip
our target audience with competencies they need to
more frequently achieve authentic personal successes,
and also show them how they can help others like themselves,
achieve similar successes. |
4.
Business Profit Making Combined With Social Development
"I want
to be part of a South Africa and Africa sending out
a new message to the world, of taking responsibility
for our own challenges. The world has got used to
a picture of Africa asking for support, with cupped
hands. It's time we create a new image of Africa.
It's time that we ourselves start giving and assert
our sense of dignity. We deserve respect. It is time
we stop apologizing for ourselves and acknowledge
our achievements".
- Graça Machel -Mandela
Even though we
are engaged in people development and empowerment,
the SDA is NOT - and has no intention of becoming
- a Non-Governmental Organisation(NGO). We maintain
a profit making focus, and believe that by so doing,
we will be better able to empower our target audience
with income-generating skills than if we ourselves
depended on grants and other unearned income sources
to fund our operations. Click
here to learn more about the Self-Development
Academy Limited. |
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What Being Emotionally Intelligent Does NOT Mean
An Emotionally Intelligent person has been described as one who has discovered the most effective way to CONTROL and USE his/her emotions to achieve improvements in performance and learning.There is however a problem what with the manner in which some people have quickly latched on to/used the argument that academic ability/IQ is not a guarantee of success in life. They loudly pronounce “getting along with others” as a critical skill/emotional competence essential for social success. While I acknowledge that “interpersonal skill” is indeed an essential skill, my observations of some of those who emphasise this “getting along with others” in order to succeed, makes me worry that they think it must be done at all and ANY cost.
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(Published Online: 30th November 2007)
An Emotionally Intelligent person has been described as one who has discovered the most effective way to CONTROL and USE his/her emotions to achieve improvements in performance and learning.
From the above, one can correctly infer that the ability to CONTROL and USE one’s emotions to actualize set goals is what will make a person qualify to be called Emotionally Intelligent.
Daniel Goleman, author of the book titled “Emotional Intelligence” (Bantam Books, USA/Canada, 1995) mentioned a number of key attributes/qualities an Emotionally Intelligent person would typically display such as:
1. Ability to motivate him/herself towards towards achieving a set purpose(s).
2. Ability to persevere in spite of adversity of frustration i.e. things going wrong.
3. Ability to control impulses and delay gratification i.e. postpone immediate enjoyment in order to secure a long term goal e.g. financial security.
4. Mental Stamina evidenced by the ability regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping one’s ability to think.
5. Ability to have empathy i.e. be sensitive to the feelings or emotions of others.
6. Ability to get along with other people.
7. Ability to get into “flow” or “the zone”.
Reading through Goleman’s book, I could not help noticing that most of the attributes he outlined for an Emotionally Intelligent person are those that are required for an entrepreneur to succeed. In fact, a careful look at the lives/stories of achievement of many successful entrepreneurs reveals that they achieved their goals by displaying those attributes of Emotionally Intelligent person mentioned by Goleman!
This, in my opinion further underscores Goleman’s submission that success in life has much less to do with academic IQ and much more to do with Emotional Intelligence.
The foregoing explains why – and HOW – it so happens that majority of highly successful entrepreneurs today in many parts of the world ARE school drop outs(or in some cases even UN-schooled). It also confirms that lack of formal schooling is NOT a fatal handicap towards achievement of success in life.
Emotional Intelligence Can Be Taught
It is generally agreed that unlike IQ which cannot be changed much by education, most crucial emotional competencies can be learned and improved upon – if they are taught – especially from childhood.
As was stated by Goleman in his book, academic intelligence offers almost no preparation for the shades of adversity or opportunities that life’s experiences will bring.
What Emotional Intelligence Is NOT
There is however a problem what with the manner in which some people have quickly latched on to/used the argument that academic ability/IQ is not a guarantee of success in life. They loudly pronounce “getting along with others” as a critical skill/emotional competence essential for social success.
While I acknowledge that “interpersonal skill” is indeed an essential skill, my observations of some of those who emphasise this “getting along with others” in order to succeed, makes me worry that they think it must be done at all and ANY cost.
In other words, INTEGRITY and SINCERITY of purpose/intent are NOT given any consideration. Thankfully, reading further in Goleman’s book, I was relieved to find that he had covered this issue quite comprehensively in “Chapter 8 – The Social Arts”.
Now the major danger inherent in this kind of thinking is that it inadvertently confers a cloak of credibility on insincere and manipulative individuals who exploit their social relationships for selfish ends. (E.g. to look good or gain wide approval from everyone they consider important or relevant).
That is why I believe it is important to clearly identify specific instances when “getting along with others” does not translate to being Emotionally Intelligent in the TRUE sense of the expression.
The Anchorless Social Chameleon
Goleman used this expression to describe certain individuals in society who are (as he put it) “champions at making good impressions. They are typically driven by a NEED to curry favour, earn approval of others at almost any cost – in my opinion, a negative manifestation of “getting along with others”. I say negative because it is devoid of INTEGRITY.
Below I now provide a specific example of the behaviour such individuals would exhibit:
Saying One Thing & Doing Another. Having no independent opinion. Lacking the ability (or willingness) to assert themselves EVEN when the need is obvious or apparent.
They are obsessed with “madly trying to fit in with whosoever they are with”(Re: Goleman). They do this by actively checking those they relate with for signs of what they like or want, before making a response. For instance, they would voice an opinion “guided” by what they know (or think) the person they are with wants to hear.
As Goleman stated in his book, “To get along and be liked, they are willing to make people they dislike think they are friendly with them”. (I consider this a terribly UNFULFILLING way to live life – at the mercy of every whim and caprice of others!).
Incidentally, as pointed out by Goleman, the ability to “get along” in the manner described above can be quite useful in some professions (e.g. diplomacy, sales, trial law etc). However, in “normal” society, where having integrity, sincerity, and a CONSCIENCE are (hopefully) valued, the need to strike a healthy balance between having “social polish” for getting along with others and being TRUE to oneself becomes imperative.
Anyone who loses sight of the fact that having EMOTIONAL INTEGRITY is more important and essential THAN winning social approval, does him/herself a great disservice in the long term.
To be true to yourself, and NOT be a Social Chameleon, or to have emotional integrity, you would – regardless of the possible social consequences – be willing to employ non-combative confrontation as the need may arise (and it always DOES every now and then in life) to tackle any appearances of “duplicity or denial” you detect in those you relate with. As Goleman correctly noted, the foregoing is NOT something the Social Chameleon would ever attempt - for obvious reasons.
FINAL WORDS
It is my considered opinion that the ability to maintain relationships and keep friends depends on the whatever may be the prevailing socio-cultural values in a society as they compare with the individual’s personal morals/values, principles, conscience etc.
Consider a society in which dissemination based on race, gender, tribe, ethnicity etc exist as defined by, say, a ruling class.
You (and your offspring’s) ability to succeed (financially, educationally etc) to a large extent in that environment will depend on how the prevalent discrimination rules affect you. If they favour you (E.g. you belong to the favoured group), then you are more are likely to succeed. If they don’t, then you could be “doomed” to failure!
In the latter instance, the question would be how far out on a limb would you be willing to go to challenge such discrimination and fight for redress against those who established it and who hold/use power.
This question must be considered against the likely negative consequences which could results – such as a possible loss or your freedom and even friends!
Nelson Mandela (apologies to those who know I have used his example more than once in past articles) through his struggle against apartheid provides us an excellent reference case in point, that illustrates the consequences mentioned in the preceding paragraph.
Put the question this way: How well would you be able to get along with others if you embarked on just but widely unpopular campaign such as the above? To dogmatically apply the “getting along with others” to succeed, you would have to compromise your values, principles and beliefs (e.g. close your eyes to racial injustices) in order to “keep” your friendships with those who do things you disapprove of.
Essentially, I am saying a certain “conducive” societal situation is required for effective application of the Emotional Intelligence of “getting along with others” to occur.
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