Have You Ever Had A "Judas"
In Your Life?
Have you ever had to associate with certain
individuals who you later sensed and went on to discover were
in the habit of giving out your personal information, or even
telling what you consider confidential or "secret"
to others they knew from relating with you, you did not approve
of?
Some would do this in order to gain the
favour of those they passed the information to. Others could
do it to spite you - for instance, maybe they feel they need
to bring you down, for being (what they consider) 'too proud"
or "overconfident".
Have you ever discovered that a certain
person you allowed to get close to you/confided in, turned
out to have sought you out so as to gain your confidence and
then betray you to those who "sent " him/her? This
happens all the time - especially between people or groups
that compete against one another. Individuals and large corporations,
nations etc all play this game in one form or the other. This
article offers ideas for the interested individual about how
to turn this type of situation to his/her advantage.
IMPORTANT
NOTE: You may not be consciously competing with anyone.
However, those who observe you may feel what you are doing
affects them one way or the other. This could make them decide
YOU are THEIR competition. That makes YOU a target! How do
you deal with that situation when it develops? Read on for
some ideas.
Welcome
A “JUDAS” Into Your life!™
Let me make what should (hopefully) be
a humorous addition to this chapter that might make it easier
for you to understand fully what I am advocating here. Think
about Judas in the story of Jesus in the Bible. Judas did
not have a say in his being chosen to betray Jesus. Read through
that story and you will find that it was said that Judas was
"chosen".
In life, you can decide to see each person
that chooses to play "antagonist", "critic"
or "enemy" as the "unfortunate Judas"
in your own life who is destined to help you achieve another
level of success or greatness though one or more acts of "betrayal"!
Now, I will tell you that in my experience,
this really does happen. And many times I have personally
discovered that the "Judas" of my life at any point
in time usually lives or works in fairly close proximity to
me - denying me the convenience of avoiding him/her! As a
result, I am forced to find a way to relate with the person
without compromising my position.
Your Judas Will NOT Be Your "Friend"
But S/he Can Help You GROW!
The truth based on the above, about the
individuals described is that event they they made out to
be your "friends", their actions were not those
a friend would take. They were in fact more consistent with
what an "enemy" would do!
So, what do you do, when you find them
out? I say it depends on the circumstances. In my other articles
titled, "Do You Know How To
Deal With Those Who Mock And Ridicule You?" and
"Why You May Want To Rejoice
When Others Mock You", I suggested that the reader
consider limiting his/her contact with persons who adopted
a negative stance of mockery and ridicule toward him or her.
However, in this article, I am referring
to persons who have taken it upon themselves to go against
you - not just to taunt, mock and ridicule, but to bring you
down or even harm you. Such persons would be correctly described
as enemies. But rather than run away from them or hide, I
want to ask you to see them as quite useful to have around!
The Dalai Lama Believes We Need
Enemies
The Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader
of Tibet, who has (I understand) been in exile for some decades
now, since the Chinese occupation of his country. There is
a quote I read somewhere credited to this great sage, that
I have personally found quite instructive:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Enemies test our ability to feel compassion,
and strengthen us in doing so” - Dalai Lama.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dalai Lama Is Right
It is my belief that we need "enemies"
or antagonists in our lives. They help us to keep our heads
from going into the clouds, and by so doing help us stay "human"
especially when we've been successfully forging ahead in pursuing
our magnificent obsessions!(To learn what I mean by "Magnificent
Obsession", read the article version of my 113 page self-help
print manual titled Ten
Ways You Can Use Self-Development To Create The Future You
Want.)
Personally, I would “get worried”
if everyone around me keeps saying they like me, and I never
run into anyone who feels or acts differently. I once heard
it said that “a little dose of paranoia is healthy”.
My point is that it would be folly for anyone to expect that
everyone else would like her. I said this earlier and I’m
saying it again: there will always be people who will not
like you (or will not want to work or cooperate with you).
You MUST prepare - and learn how - to deal with such people.
Also, it is my opinion that we need the
periodic ”tests” of our abilities posed by those
people who refuse to “like” us and who give us
a hard time. Just imagine if everybody liked you and always
gave you an easy run. Imagine if everybody said you were their
favorite and there was no single person who expressed reservations
about you, or was cynical about what you could or could not
do (?).
What If We Stopped Having Bad
People Or Bad Things In This World?
Maybe I’ll take it a bit further
- what if we suddenly stopped having "bad people"
or "bad things" happening in the world? It would
be quite boring and unchallenging to continue living here
wouldn’t it? We lock our cars because someone could
gain easy entry if we didn't. We watch what we say because
a mischievous person might report to others when we say things
that are not exactly "nice" about them.
Simply put, “bad” people
- or the possibility of a bad thing happening - keep us alert
and “on our toes”. It is this same consciousness
that makes us teach our children what they need to do to stay
safe and out of trouble when they are away from us. Without
the knowledge gained from the previous so-called "bad"
experiences in society, we would not be wiser about how to
live in this world - talk less of being able to advise our
children - would we?
Now, a person that perpetually antagonizes
us might eventually push us to a point where we actually develop
an intense dislike (or hatred) for him. The Dalai Lama however
challenges us NOT to harbour such feelings towards anyone
- even when it is someone that obviously takes delight in
causing us pain or discomfort. It's ironic that most religions
actually advocate this philosophy for adoption by believers
and YET, many believers find that they are often unable to
really practice it!
Why? Because they are human, and it actually
takes tremendous effort and commitment to maintain a compassionate
disposition to people who make things difficult for us, or
do not like us! It's so much easier, for instance, to read
the portion of the bible where the believer is asked to "turn
the other cheek" than to actually do what it says. I
am sure many who read the foregoing statement will understand
what I mean. When it comes to "doing" it , a lot
of people “struggle”.
Summary
The secret to mastering the art of feeling
compassion for one's "enemies" or "antagonists"
is to ALWAYS remember this: Without
the "threat" of a bad thing or person coming around
to do us "harm", we are likely to relax to the point
where we lose grip of the things we already have in control.
Think about sports - the team or individual that usually wins
is not necessarily the one that scores first. No, it is often
the one that gets in the lead, then STAYS ALERT to - and thwarts
- all attempts by the opponent to equalise till the game ends!
Like I said earlier, the Dalai Lama is
right because ALWAYS, at the end of it all - maybe when I'm
moving on - I find that I have become stronger due to the
perpetual presence of my "Judas(es)". Some typical
benefits include increased "mental stamina", "thickened
skin", "self-control" etc. This has been my
personal experience. I am sure you will find that yours will
be similar (or better) if you adopt this philosophy towards
your "enemies" or "antagonists".
"To Laugh Often
And Much, To Win The Respect Of Intelligent People And The
Affection Of Children, To Earn The Appreciation Of Honest
Critics And Endure The Betrayal Of False Friends, To Appreciate
Beauty, To Find The Best In Others, To Leave The World A Bit
Better, Whether By A Healthy Child, A Garden Patch, Or A Redeemed
Social Condition; To Know Even One Life Has Breathed Easier
Because You Have Lived. This Is To Have Succeeded!" -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
So, are you ready to welcome a Judas
into your life today? It could be the start of your climb
to a new level of personal success! 
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