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By Tayo Solagbade

Speaking & Acting With Self-Confidence Does NOT Make You Arrogant!

I have been accused of being arrogant on a number of occasions - especially during my startup years. In fact, some of my "critics" told me that MY arrogance was the reason I was not doing so well in business at the time. So they advised me to "humble" myself, so that I would be "elevated". I laughed at such suggestions back then, and I still do so NOW, because as I have always known, a person's success or failure has little to do with such mis-guided sentiments they expressed!.

(Published Online: 16 February 2010)

Indeed, based on extensive reflection, I have come to realise people often said these things to me, because they were NOT comfortable with the self-assured manner I spoke about my intentions and achievements.

Here's the answer I always gave (and still give!) to those who accused me in this manner - whether to my face, or behind my back: "I do not interprete speaking/acting self-confidently, the way I do, as arrogance. I speak/act that way because I KNOW who I am, and what I can do - if given a FAIR and IMPARTIAL opportunity, or what is called a LEVEL playing field, where there is no cheating (i.e. "Ojoro" or "Magomago"), or bad belle, or booby traps!"

Back when I was an employee in Guinness, I routinely and repeatedly set numerous personal and work related goals, which I fearlessly told others about. And in virtually all cases, though sometimes after repeated failures, I achieved ALL OF THEM.

How come? It was because I worked in an environment that was relatively (though not totally) devoid of devious manipulation by those with ulterior motives.

Back then, those biased, envious people, who thought I was "arrogant”, did not have the means or resources to throw logs in my paths or set booby traps that created an unfair and impartial atmosphere, which could have limited my ability to achieve.

And that was why the head of the Guinness brewery I worked in, who had known me for less than 12 months, was confident enough to make very positive & flattering comments verbally, and on paper about me during send-forth ceremonies, after I quit my job to go into business for myself.

Among others things, he wrote that he honestly believed "you are one of those who will succeed at anything he does". He also wrote that he did not need to wish me good luck because he believed I could create my own luck!" Wow, he must have seen me achieve some impressive results, in spite of obstacles I faced to make him so SURE!

Consider this: Mohammed Ali was not arrogant. He was self-confident about his abilities, and was NOT shy to say so to anyone, anywhere, at anytime.

Ali was not into the business of massaging egos! For this reason, the press nicknamed him the "Louisville lip". But guess what? Americans did not punish him for being himself. Instead, they challenged him to PROVE himself, and provided a fair and impartial opportunity for him to do so. Today, he is a living legend, known and loved by many, the world over.

Every time I think of Nigeria's Bash Ali, who has earned himself international laurels in boxing at an age when others have retired, I wonder what Nigerians are waiting to see before they can celebrate him. On one occasion, when he appeared on TV, some individual phoned in to tell Bash Ali that he was "too arrogant; needed to humble himself; and should "give his life to Christ" etc. I could not help asking:” What on earth was THAT about?!"

Out here today, one has to endure exposure to all that negativity in order to still achieve one's goals.

Since this is NOT America, and not even close to being Ghana or South Africa. In fact, since this is Nigeria, where all manner of "will-thwarting" wonders occur, you can only begin to imagine how daunting a challenge it is. I can tell you, without any fear of contradiction, and without exaggeration, that ONLY my indomitable will, and hunger to achieve, have helped me survive so many attempts that have been made to "pull-me-down" in the over eight years I have been operating as a self-employed professional.

I have had relatives set me up, and then withdraw from an agreed arrangement when they knew I was most vulnerable. I have even had a client use my name (without my knowledge) in a manner that cast me in a negative light on the Internet. It took me over 2 weeks to get him to remove the offending document after I discovered this abuse by accident, while surfing the net.

Yet, in spite of all the above, I have today established myself as a reliable service provider in my areas of entrepreneurial focus - and it shows in my constantly growing client base - and increasing client profiles!

In essence, my supposed "arrogance" has not stopped those who truly need the SOLUTIONS I offer from hiring, and paying me handsomely!

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist - Tayo Solagbade - works as a Multipreneur, helping individuals/businesses develop and implement strategies to achieve their goals, faster and more profitably. Download his latest e-book titled "How To Start Your Business With Little Or None Of Your Own Money" from http://www.lulu.com/sdaproducts.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade - devotes his time to exploring new frontiers of Self-Development Education, especially as it relates to showing people what they can do by themselves for themselves to achieve their set goals at work and/or in life - despite the limitations of their circumstances or environment.

Visit our Creative Business Solutions mini-site, to learn how you can get affordable Freelance Writing, Rapid Website Design/CGI Automation, Website Marketing Strategy Development and MS Excel Spreadsheet Automation Services.

INVITE TAYO! Click HERE for details of how you can invite Tayo to give a talk (on a topic relevant to SDAc's Areas Of Focus) at your next meeting or retreat. Many who attend a Tayo Solagbade talk/seminar experience significant breakthroughs in their mental attitudes, and general thinking about what they can do by themselves for themselves.

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